I'm back yet again after what seems like the longest hiatus yet and I am going to make it up to you with a what I hope is both a substantial and entertaining entry. So here goes...
Another year over and what have I done?
Well let's be honest not a great many things. But alas I must do the obligatory year in review post.
So wrecking balls, cronuts and hashtags aside my 2013 has been a pretty happily straight forward one. I spent morning till night stuck to a couch watching and falling in love with yet more tv dramas (aka Suits being the newest addition), the epic 50th Doctor Who anniversary episode was viewed with fan girl eyes, I fell in love with the man that is Tom Hiddleston (don't you dare google this man, you will be ruined), I discovered yet more delicious sweet recipes, attempted to read Shakespeare's works, had a little getaway down to Melbourne, had a few small victories getting my work published in small little publications (and often feeling like some sort of free prostitute; selling my words minus the cash), the goal of trying to cut down on materialistic goods was relatively achieved and I discovered most definitely from my part time job in Toowoomba that I am 100% city girl down to the smallest bone.
Trivial things aside the year has been pretty high speed:
My loved ones have remained loved and many of them are going through massive life changes; new babies, new houses, new jobs and new beginnings. I on the other hand didn't really begin my part II this year but rather watched on the sidelines as family moved on and I yearned for simpler times.
But let's face it the future is always better, the things we have yet to see, experience and do will always hold more delight and adventure than years past.
Change is inevitable and on most occasions character building beautiful parcels disguised as difficult to bear obstacles.
I know me more than anyone else and I know that you've got to give me time to warm to something new, to take that leap, to open up to someone.
So if I were to sum up 2013 in one word it would be change, for me and for all those I hold most dear.
The year marked an end of my six years long chapter of endless all nighters, of nail biting last minute study and lazy pantless days skipping lectures. Alas I have graduated from the world of tertiary education. I now am the proud owner of two pieces of pretty droll paper that makes it possible to call me an official bachelor of arts and journalism. What does that mean? Probably not a whole lot. What will that give me in life? Probably not a whole lot. But I did it and I'm pretty proud of it, proud that I stuck through it all, proud that I went through this so called societal passage of life. I've been blessed with an education much higher than I might deserve and looking back on it all, I appreciate and value each and every moment.
So now as we approach the end of another year I finally begin a crisp new paper, a world untouched, a life about to begin.
This more than ever makes me shiver with fear and complete bemusement. I'm lost in a maze of thoughts and possibilities, not knowing how to piece them together and make sense of it all.
But if I dig down to those positive corners of my mind I know that it will all work out, I stare wantonly at inspirational quotes of moving forward, of tackling your dream and doing not just wishing. I have spurts of inspiration, moments that could be a glimmer of that one special beginning, that one massive explosion that I'm searching for. But then there's moments where you really wander maybe you aren't destined to be great, maybe what you really want isn't that at all.
I write out so many different paths for myself and I can never work out which one I would be most happy with. They are all such very different lives and I wonder where my priorities lie. I'm often rather fickle and all together much too indecisive. I'll wake up one morning and tell myself "feminism all the way, I'm going to be career bitch number one". Other days I'll sit in my pajamas watching Love Actually and I'll come to the finite conclusion all I really want is love, no money, no amazing job, no house with a city skyline view because I'm probably the biggest hopeless romantic you will ever meet (shhh don't tell anyone... oops sorry internet). Other moments I'm dreaming away a life of freedom, the girl who travels, who has no permanent postcode, the pure exhilaration and adventure of waking up in a new city every day. Then some days I wish I could have it all, and I'm almost certain no one can.
So here I am soul searching away and trying to throw in some proactive action and thought to hopefully get a fraction of any of the above.
At the moment I'm currently a part of a exciting project - I'm one of the editors of the upcoming Creative Drinks print magazine! Although unpaid and unknown, I'm loving the involvement. Sometimes I really do think I could be more creative than I make myself believe and that maybe I do fit into this carefree world and free spirited creatives. My childhood and surrounding family might have hindered or suppressed what I might be. So this could be a personal journey as well as a professional one.
I'll get my act together eventually and maybe the life that I was actually looking for isn't any of the ones I've planned because who knows what or who is behind the next door.
The year isn't over yet, I'm saying hello to 2014 from the sunny shores of Fiji with some friends I could never live without and I couldn't be happier.
So that was the year I turned 23, all the best moments required no real form of payment, all the highlights involve friends and family and each and every second despite the many lows I've come out with a smile, because life is truly short and I'm trying to live every minute of every second of each and every day.
Annual christmas brunch with the best gals in the world, you remind me everyday how lucky I am to have you in my life.
And spending time with this little treasure has truly made my 2013 so magically wonderful. Being an aunty is more rewarding than I ever dreamed it would be.
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. May you spend this joyous time of year amongst friends and family, forget the diets and indulge on the best of life's small pleasures. Wish a stranger merry Christmas, do one good deed on Christmas Day and laugh as much as humanly possible!