So here are the inaugural annual Papilio awards -
Gwenyth Paltrow. She was dazzling in this Tom Ford number. Why so daring? Ummm... wearing a cape is daring! It could be oh so elegant or just plain superhero dress up. It was so elegant - thanks for taking a leap!
Cameron Diaz. I know it is effortless and all those other ladies with there well to do up dos might deserve it more purely out of time and effort but Cameron looked beautiful with her little blond cut.
Angelina Jolie - really? black again? She wowed me at the Golden Globes and here she is back to basics. Oh and that thigh high slit? Was it really necessary to pose left leg exposed just so every single time! We women already want to kill ourselves when we look at you keep miss perfectly slim and sexy leg behind the curtain!
Meryl Streep. Usually she dresses so perfectly for her figure and age - this time around I think she was too preoccupied in winning the Oscar she ended up dressing as the Oscar. Sorry Meryl but you missed the mark this time.
Rose Byrne an Aussie darling and how sexy she was. Draped in a Vivienne Westwood black number she was alluring, sensual and classic all in one - well done miss Byrne you've done Australia proud!
Penelope Cruz. Well didn't she look like the modern day princess. So very proper and what a gorgeous blue.
Natalie Portman. Anyone feeling Pretty Women right now? I loved the polka dots and that hair and that bling - it was a well put together look - thanking you vintage Christian Dior! Natalie I know I've teased you but for now I congratulate you.
Octavia Spencer. We all know it can be hard for bigger women to find faltering evening gowns but Octavia smashed it out the ball park. This number suited her body shape to a tee.
Tina Fey. She's very hit and miss but I'm loving this Carolina Herrara number. Well done Tina!
Shailene Woodley. Hmmm from what I have seen so far Shailene has a long way to go in the name of style. Don't cover up that pretty body just yet honey.
Jennifer Lopez. It was so JLo - low cut, figure hugging - or more so ass hugging and was there a hint of peek-a-boo during the ceremony... probably. JLo I think we've had enough of your boobs
Milla Jovovich. This was stunning - it was Hollywood glamour and it showed off everything her momma gave her.
Emma Stone - she's the new girl in town and she's screaming here I am! Some commentators thought the high neck and cut was much too old for her but all I saw was a beautiful young and classy lady. This came a very close second to my best dressed.
Sandra Bullock I'm just not sure. The colours work, the feel is classic and yet there is something ill fitting about it. For that I give you my confused award.
Livia Firth. She's eco friendly and has vowed to always wear sustainable gowns. This Valentino number is made from recycled plastic bottles. And she's obviously won best accessory as well - Colin Firth! Oh Livia how my jealousy increases by the minute.
George Clooney. Well I kind of have to give it to him - there's one fine example of a silver fox. And even though he didn't win a little gold statue he's got one wrapped around him already - Miss Stacy Keibler knows exactly what she's here for ;)
As I said there were no shock horrors this time round which was a pleasant change as well as a bit of a let down - who doesn't like laughing at the outlandish.
Berenice Bejo from The Artist was not all that artistically pleasing. I just felt the colour washed her out and along with that red hair it just didn't seem to work for me. It wasn't blindingly painful but if I had to choose I'm sorry but maybe you should have silently stayed in black and white.
Michelle Williams. I adore Michelle - her hair, her smile, her constantly perfect style; she is incandescent. I still don't know what colour it is - sometimes it looks crimson, other times it looks stunningly orange - but I don't care what colour it is! And who would have thought a pink Bottega Veneta clutch would compliment that coral. Michelle: you are colour blocking like a pro. Utterly stunning! And although you didn't come away with best actress you sure came away with Papilio award number 1 and we all know that's better than any gold statue ;)
And it didn't stop there - celebrities party like no other, so here's to the after parties - and the winner goes to ...
Lily Collins. This is lovely! Not exactly after party material in my opinion but it is such a intricately beautiful gown who wouldn't want to wear that to whatever event.
Heidi Klum - Victoria Secret models past and present will always make me want to reach for the fat inducing comfort foods and Miss Heidi here really can work it.
Maria Sharapova. Firstly - what is she even doing at the Vanity Fair after party and secondly what on Earth is she wearing? Is she reliving her fairytale dress up days? Is she channeling some sort of disheveled over grown slutty tinkerbell? It aint nice honey; it just aint. Maybe you should stick to the tennis court.
January Jones. She can get it oh so wrong but I loved this! It was different and the colours had a very unique and earthy mood and that hair is simply perfect. Well done January - can't wait for your return on Mad Men.
See you on FF - it's off to France for Milan is doing what it does best