Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Gender and Companionship

Sorry again!

This blog won’t be changing for a while longer – got to sort my life out – there are simply not enough hours in a day. So here’s something a little corny to fill the void:

No two things in this world could be more different than gender. Boys and girls, women and men call them what you will we are polar opposites.

My idea of a perfect night = indoors with lovely friends, a good hearty home made meal, a smashing dessert and a lengthy talk of whatever gets the blood going. For me these topics are often of the heart and of the future. The girls and I spend many a leisurely hour discussing what all women discuss at some point – our perfect life, our dream house, our plans 20 years down the track, crushes, past encounters and all things rather shallow (if you are to be pessimistic). Men on the other hand – well they are more grounded; they don’t often bother outwardly discussing the dreams and the delusions – they are probably more healthy and sane because of it.

But the point of it is simple. I rejoice in the fact our brains are wired differently, I rejoice in being a whimsical female and I relish in the delights of imagining a perfect world, a bright and fanciful future. Don’t get too caught up in it all and I’m sure we feminine felines will be perfectly fine.

I have had a lot of friends who have come and gone, I have often been at the root of why my once best friends have left me but finally I have come to balance friends, family and life just right (well at least I hope I have; it has taken long enough).

About three years ago I rekindled one of the strongest friendships I have encountered. I was weary at first – because often things that were once so good come around a second time always disappointing you, never as good as you remembered. This was one of those exceptions.

These three girls are something special. To me, they are vital to my happiness. I’m not sure they feel the same but what I do know is that we all value and love each others company. We all appreciate how relaxed it is when we are together. When I say we can talk about anything I mean that in the most literal of senses. Something I am grateful for as to most other people in my life I am very much a closed book (despite what some might think I hide most of my feelings, opinions, dreams, inner fears – all of the real me, it takes a lot to open yours truly).
There is no judging with us no matter how crazy personal views might be – we tell truths, we tell each fraction of truths; we are constantly open books and that is vital in a strong relationship. We tell each other opinions I’m sure if we told someone else they could possibly stab us to death (I’m not joking).

All those years ago when we were innocent 10 year old girls we were the same. We talked of everything and anything and we argued constantly over everything and anything. What is different now? I think we have grown up a little and realised that arguing does nobody good. So the laughter, smiles and sometimes serious discussion is all that remains.
But all those arguments back then – they simply made us stronger, made us wiser and when one argues it is because we feel something for them – we argue because we love them. I think personalities have mellowed and we are now able to brush things off, no more rampant hormones and now we are simply four girls a little too crazy for the rest of society. In hindsight I think it was healthy to have that five year break from each other, to get rid of all that adolescent rage separately, to grow up without the intense bond we seemed to have. It is a much healthier friendship now and one I’m certain will be forever (please excuse the horrible cliché word and tweeny phrase).

We are all different and yet oddly the same – it is the perfect recipe – just the right amount of elements, the proper balance of contrast and the perfect harmony of flavours (hmmm too much Masterchef viewing for me).

Ladies - you know who you are – and I thank you for all the laughs, companionship and well needed confirmation I am not alone in my thoughts. I cannot wait to tackle this world together with our desperate shoes strapped firm and our fanciful images intact.

As long as you have a handful of friends you truly can count on there is no need for the 1000s of Facebook friend requests or winning the popularity vote for none of that honestly makes you happy.

And what are we going to do about the battle of the sexes? Well, I think we can leave it as just that – a never ending battle where both sides will never agree, where no one will stand down and maybe where both genders can go on battling in a rather harmonious sort of conversation - a peaceful war (an oxy moron if ever there was one) and a clashing of necessary differences.

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